SepticPen ...

Its funny how sometimes the songs you have been humming for years don’t really ‘speak’ to you all. But a time comes may be on the bus, or the tube, or a train, or a taxi u hear it and for the first time you actually listen to it…. And u realize something, something greater than the song , something which could not have been conveyed in words to you, and between the words of the lyrics it just erupts in you and floods u with its calmness.

Something Similar happened today:

It was a mid-summer afternoon, the heat was unbearable. And with the heat we all became very restless indeed. The class was nearing its end, the audience was hardly listening to the Instructor, everyone was talking and their minds whizzing in a million directions. Everyone was clearly frustrated not excluding me. The atmosphere outside became dark and windy.

We were starting to be relieved a little by the coolness offered to us by the winds. Sullen clouds are gathering fast over the black fringe of our small campus. Soon we were smelling the rising summer dust, and we knew it was raining. I stared at the dark clouds around us from the window. The winds were roaring and struggling among the branches like a wild beast tangled in a trap.

And the rains sang their song, the same lyrics that I had heard since I was a child, yet this time I listened to its roar, intimidating yet graceful. And after many years the rains decided for the first time to ‘speak’ to me….. There’s something about the rain that’s beyond this world. Though it is noisy yet it is as peaceful s silence. The noise of your mind just dissolves in the melodies of the song the rain sings.

Centuries have passed; poets and seers have sung hymns and poems praising the symphony of rain. Yet there is sacredness to rain which is not of thought, nor of a feeling that can be awakened by thought. This sacredness about the rains can’t be written down, it is no to be thought of. It is not recognizable by thought nor can it exploited by thought. Thoughts cannot generate it. But there was a Sacredness to the afternoon’s rain and every rain, which is untouched by any word or symbol. This cannot be communicated. But it is a fact. And I would like to take Krishnamurthi’s quote to describe what we had realized, “Like beauty, it cannot be seen through its opposite for it has no opposite”

Every one present there was filled up the immense peace of that indescribable sacredness.

-- Sachin Modeel

Surrendering is the greatest act of all human endeavors. what does it mean to surrender? no efforts in any direction at all.... phew! when i got that answer i knew its way too much for humble souls like me to apply. then one person taught me that to surrender means to have no resistance to life.

No resistance = Surrendering.
Now that seems more doable.

If u are in any physical pain, surrender to it, do not resist it.


Recently i had a throat surgery and the post-operative pain was too much for me to handle. I started trying out all the practices that learned through Buddhism , Advaita, etc etc. things never improved. the pain was till too much for me to bear, also since i couldn't administer pain-killers because they may cause bleading to my operative wound , things just got worse. i gradually with out even my own notice slipped into depression, the pain kept troubling me every moment. i couldnt even sleep .

Initially i tried making an effort to convince myself that the body is experiencing the pain, i am just an observer. i tried this practice very intesely but to no avail, the pain just kept rushing into my head and distubing my peace of mind. thats when i had realized that i was intorduced to practises of overcomming psychological pain, but never once had i learned to handle physical pain. and this was the Time i need it the most.


i was introduced to the Blue Buddha or the Medicine Buddha Mantra and a friend of mine asked me to recite it and concentrate my awareness on my presence and less on the pain. again may be due to my humble efforts and also since i had made soo little progess , and my practice was still very unexperienced ... i dunno things never imroved the pain was still unbearable.


one early morning even before sunrise, the pain woke me up. i juts lay there on my bed, the pain was there too like a loyal friend who never betrays you. i wished i had never had this kind of pain. I wished i was all right. i began thinking of the time when this pain wasn't there.


that's when it happened. that's when i noticed that i was making efforts in all directions to get rid of the pain.!!! i was making efforts in evry possible direction, then i remember thta to surrender means to stop efforts in all diretions. thast i when i realised i am gona just stop all this. again a thought came to my mind, a deep innervoice tellin me "resist nothing"... and i did. i just lay there, not resisting pain, not resisting anything.


firstly i surrendered my body, i just lay there, i dint bother to breathe until there was a need to . if there was a need to inhale i inhaled. if there was a need to exhale i exhaled. if there was a need for me to adjust my arm , i did it. i dint resist anything. Then i slowly started surrendering in the mental plane. i surrendered my will to think. i surrenderd my wil to wish to be something else. i surrendered my need to complai about his situation. i surrendered also any need to falsely praise what i was doing. i surrendered my need to talk to myslef. i surrendered to life, and i did not reisst anything. total surrender. thast when i realized the pain was existing, and so was i. but i dint need to do anythign to it, and it ceased to do anything for me! i had finally learned something of incomprehenssible measure from my experience, i had finally learned to surrender.